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FeedWine Limerick Contest Winners
Check out what our readers came up with!
We set forth a challenge in May for our readers to come up with a limerick in the spirit of Wine Enthusiast. We received an overwhelming response with hundreds and hundreds of entries. It took us longer than expected to go through all of the great ones we received (not that we are complaining—we got quite a few laughs out of them!).
After sorting through all of them, we narrowed it down to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners, and of course honorable mentions. Selected limericks are scheduled to appear in Wine Enthusiast Magazine's Best of Year issue, available on newsstands December 11.
1st Place Winners
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If you can't get your date to undress, go And buy her a fine Barbaresco Get the girl sipping And soon she'll be stripping And begging to do it alfresco |
I once knew a fellow named Sweeney Who spilled some gin onto his weenie. Then just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his young lass a martini. —Faith Love, Chesterfield, VA |
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"98!" claimed the wine-sipping clod. "98!" chimed his friend with a nod. But 'twas not what it seemed, For the wine they esteemed Had been poured from the spit cup. How odd! —Daniel McGrath, Brookfield, CT |
I have an untamed predilection for building a vast wine collection. But my wife is incensed o'er the vinous expense. 'Tis a shame; I shall miss her affection. |
2nd Place Winners
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A sommelier came home from the show Found a man with his wife don't you know He was much madder still When he saw the man swill |
Please do not pronounce Sauvignon Blanc Like it rhymes with ker-bonk, honk or wonk. Leave the "C" in your craw And say "sauvignon blaw" Or just order a glass of white plonk. —Jennifer Chotzi Rosen |
| This Lambrusco seems vinegar-laced,
Amaroidal and acrid in taste. But I'll finish the flask And then empty the cask, Because wine is a bad thing to waste. |
Of drunkards, I once was the booziest, |
3rd Place Winners
A gourmand? A gourmet? That sounds neat. Epicure? Ehh, perhaps too elite. If you like food and wine, It's just pure state of mind, A young winery owner named Frank made a wine that was really quite rank. He handled his crisis by raising his prices. Corkscrew and cork, sat on a table Talking to a freshly made label "With screwcaps in fashion, Fine wine's lost its passion!" A man in the auditing science Got involved with one of his clients With a bottle of red They tottered off to bed
—Katie Pizzuto
—Michael Brooks, Richmond, VA
—Walter Preston, Phoenix, MD
—Dale Moir, Naperville, IL
Honorable Mentions
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I've arrived on the scene too late. All I want is some Harlan Estate. I've tried joining their list. They say be patient and insist —Robert Bartoli, Scottsdale, AZ |
In Jerez quite often the berry Is made into wine known as Sherry By way of solera And lots of fresh air-a Young wine becomes old in a hurry |
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There once was a young man named Turlough Who got a bad bottle of Merlot. He said, "It's so lousy So droopy and frowsy, I think that I'm about to hurl-o." —Elliot Capon |
A wine snob is the worst sort of brute Sniffs the wine and the cork and the flute Then he puts on an air And he says with a flair "Oh, I'd rather be smelling a boot!" —Dale Moir, Naperville, IL |
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They say wine's existed for ages Its roots lost in history's pages From ancient amphora Which gave it an aura A beverage extolled by the sages |
You are welcome to taste all the wine. (The If each sip you must spit Then the pail you should hit And look out for the carpet, you swine! |
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If you were a drinker of Claret, I'd say, "There's a wine with great merit!" But you drink Chardonnay So what more can I say? Just don't ask me to smile and share it.—Joan Mims, Bee Cave, Texas |
So this modest but wine-loving feller Had aquired a quite enviable cellar. He had spent more on Than he surely could afford-o But his dinners had pairings most stellar. |
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