Wine Puns and Classic Horror Movie Pairings

The only thing we love more than a good glass of wine is a great pun. See how your favorite horror films stack up to these bloody-good bottles.
Sometimes the best puns come from the worst clichés / Getty

Being an office full of writers and editors, some days at the Wine Enthusiast feel like an endless competition over who can out-pun each other. Halloween, of course, is no exception.

The following list of wine recommendations came from one of these days—a long lunch spent seeing who could come up with the best horror movie puns involving wine. We then took this list to our talented Tasting Department and challenged them to come up with delicious bottle recommendations for each.

Without further ado, here is a list of our favorite wine/horror movie puns and what to drink while watching the original films.

The Puns

The Ex-Loire-cist

Domaine Masson-Blondelet 2015 Clos du Château Paladi (Pouilly-Fumé); $37, 93 points. This wine comes from a small walled vineyard next to a townhouse with little towers, called locally in jest Château Paladi. Ripe with apple and lime fruits, the wine is crisply textured and balanced, with a flinty character. It is ready to drink. Grape Expectations (CA). Editors’ Choice. —Roger Voss

Rosémary’s Baby

Prospect 772 2017 Baby Doll Rosé (California); $18, 86 points. Almost dark enough in color to be a red wine, this rosé is the antithesis of the pale Provençal-style wines that are in vogue. It shows effusive floral and raspberry aromas, and plum-skin and watermelon flavors on a medium-bodied frame. —Jim Gordon

Blaufränkenstein / Dr. Konstantin Frankenstein

Dr. Konstantin Frank 2016 Blaufränkisch (Finger Lakes); $22, 88 points. Sour cherry, bramble berry and a bit of pepper carry the nose of this wine. The medium-bodied palate is soft in feel, with juicy red cherry and strawberry flavors that meld with a floral lilt. This is enjoyable for its immediate easydrinking appeal. —Alexander Peartree

Creepy bottle silhouette
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The Chenin

Cedergreen Cellars 2016 Old Vine Chenin Blanc (Columbia Valley); $19, 90 points. The aromas draw you into the glass, with notes of honeycomb, apple and the underside of a pineapple. It drinks dry, with a textured feel to the pineapple flavors. Yum. Editors’ Choice. —Sean P. Sullivan

Scream-ant

Domaine Charles Baur NV Emotion Sparkling (Crémant d’Alsace); $30, 93 points. There is a hint of wet chalk stone on the nose, along with crisp apple and a touch of lemon. The palate then amplifies both the chalky impression and the creamy mellow richness of the apple and the autolysis. This is restrained but very classic, understated but deeply satisfying with its creamy mousse, a hint of stone and the fruit-accentuated backdrop. The mousse is fine and the finish is wonderfully dry. Multiple U.S. importers. —Anne Krebiehl MW

Silence of the Lambruscos

Zanasi NV Tradizione (Lambrusco Grasparossa di Castelvetro); $12, 89 points. This wine’s fragrant blue flower and red berry aromas lift out of the glass. On the savory palate, ground clove accents raspberry jam and wild cherry notes, all hemmed in with refined tannins. Summit Selections. Best Buy. —Kerin O’Keefe

Dusty Port cellar
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Pét-nat Sematary

Birichino 2016 Pétulant Naturel Malvasia Bianca (Monterey); $22, 89 points. Cloudy in the glass, Pétulant is redolent with yellow grapefruit aromas, as well as some cut pear. The foam is very aggressive upon sipping, with lots of creamy qualities that are soft rather than sharp. Flavors of sour grapefruit and lemon rind are fun rather than funky. —Matt Kettmann

Saw-ternes

Château Rieussec 2015 Sauternes; $50, 96 points. Spice, honey and botrytis are the dominant characters of this full wine. The acidity comes later, with hints of citrus and lemon curd. It is still young and developing, but has excellent potential. Drink from 2022. Taub Family Selections. Cellar Selection. —R.V.

Eight Wines for Pumpkin Spice Lovers

Champagne to Busan

Krug NV Grande Cuvée 166eme Edition (Champagne); $175, 95 points. This is the latest incarnation of Grande Cuvée, now in its 166th edition. Toasty aromas signal an enticingly mature wine, rich with intense secondary flavors. It preserves the wonderful richness and the style of this producer. The wine is ready to drink now, but it will be also enjoyable for many more years. Moët Hennessy USA. —R.V.

Creepy table covered in horror movie fodder
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The Cabernet in the Woods

Woodlands 2010 Heather Jean Cabernet Sauvignon (Margaret River); $115, 91 points. This highly acclaimed family owned and operated Margaret River producer is in possession of some of the region’s top vineyard sites, all dry farmed with minimal chemical interventions. Each year, Woodlands names its top Cabernet after a family member or friend. At eight-years-old, Heather Jean (one of the founders) is old school Margaret River, showing intense of potpourri-like oak spice, still-plush cassis fruit, tomato leaf, dried flowers, milk chocolate and a savory leathery spine. It’s a big Bordeaux-like wine with plenty of ripe fruit left and silky, tightly knit tannins. There’s plenty of life left in Heather Jean yet. Drink now–2028. Vine Street Imports. —Christina Pickard

Polterzweigelt

Schlosskellerei Gobelsburg 2016 Zweigelt (Niederösterreich); $18, 90 points. An aromatic, almost floral touch hovers above this wine’s red cherry fruit. The palate is light, with a tingling edge of white pepper amid the pure cherry notes. The frame is light, the body sinuous and dry. It’s elegant, measured and delicious, with a lovely fresh finish. Skurnik Wines, Inc. —A.K.

My Bloody Valpolicella

Prà 2016 Morandina (Valpolicella); $23, 90 points. A textbook Valpolicella, this opens with aromas of strawberry, red currant and a whiff of chopped aromatic herb while the bright palate doles out red-skinned berry, cinnamon and white pepper. Fresh acidity and velvety tannins provide the polished framework. Enjoy through 2020. T. Edward Wines Ltd. —K.O.

Pink Ash vs the Evil Dead

Paradise Springs 2017 Pink Ash Rosé (Santa Barbara County); $29, 93 points. This is one of the more exciting rosés of the year, and not just because actor Billy Zane used Thomas Fire ash in his label painting. Pale pink in color, the wine shows chalk and light nectarine on the nose before offering strawberry glacé, a hint of bubblegum, kumquat acidity and an extremely chalky texture on the palate. Proceeds go to fire’s victims. Editors’ Choice. —M.K.

Dark wine cellar in black and white
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Bonus Wine Puns

Because we could do this all day, here are some additional horror movie and wine puns for your holiday enjoyment.

Fossil & Fawn of the Dead; The Babacru; Two Buck Chucky; The Blanc Witch Project; Children of the Cork; Flight of the Living Dead; Pet Semillontery; Shaun of the Red; The Fortified Kind; Let The Right One Chenin; Villages of the Damned; The Texas Chainsaw Mouvedre; The Clockwork Orange Wine

Published on October 29, 2018
Topics: Halloween



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